Trading the Party Life for an Old Woman Life

07.09.2010

At what point did the change happen? I asked myself. This question was prompted because of the new neighbors who moved in on the 3^rd floor about a week ago. I remember taking one look at them and knew there’d be trouble. And by trouble, I mean parties. The guys are in their early 20s and most likely have yuppie, high-paying jobs because that’s the only “kind” that can afford to live on the Westside. I am a yuppie by proxy because I live on the Westside and anything outside of the vicinity of where I live is considered to be “far” and “over there,” but hey, I admit it. The only reason I can live where I live is because I’ve been in the same apt. for 27 years and I (we) reap the benefits of rent control. Any landowner’s/ apt. building owner’s nightmare, I know.

When my mom moved out 11 years ago, I was throwing a party about once a month. There didn’t even have to be n excuse; I just threw a party to throw it. I had no money, but hey that’s what credit cards were for, right? For as financially responsible as I usually was (and am) once in a while I would do something where only later I questioned where that responsibility went for on vacation.

So tonight, for the 2^nd Friday in a row, the guys had people over and had their soiree on their patio creating an echoe. I was annoyed because it was already after 11 pm and I could hear them (once upon a time I was just getting started at that time). I wanted to be mad but then I told myself that my neighbors put up with me while I went through my party stage.

I tried to figure out when I grew out of that “party stage” and went into “old woman stage.” The fact that I have difficulty staying up past 10 pm – and if I do I’m cranky – worries me because, with a newborn, you’re up every 2 hours. And, from what I hear, you basically give up sleep for the first many years of the child’s life. I love sleep. I’ve always loved sleep. One of my mom’s favorite stories about me is that she’d have to wake me up when I was a baby because I would just sleep all day. And, to make matters worse, I hear that the older you get the quicker you get tired with kids because you just don’t have the same energy that you do when in your 20s.

I don’t know…everyone says it’s different when you have your own kids. You don’t mind being tired or doing the extra work around the house. I guess I do what I need to do when I’m tired in order to take care of the cats. Sometimes abiding by a strict medicine/feeding schedule gets cumbersome but I do it because I love him and I know it helps keep him alive and well.

Everything in perspective, right?

Least Likely Surprise

05.28.2010

Now that I no longer have my Friday morning class, I can return to my regular Friday meetings and hopefully start getting back on track with my weight.

I’ve been attending the same Friday morning meeting since 2003 so I knew it would be challenging to attend a new meeting and I can’t explain how much I had grown dependent on that Friday routine. Even though I chose to go to another meeting with the same leader, the dynamic of the group was different which affected everything for me. I suppose I went in with a fairly negative attitude ahead of time because I knew it was just temporary so every set back I had made it easier to blame on this new meeting.

Well, when I left last August, the Friday meeting was filled with people of different ages but most people hovered somewhere in their 30s and 40s. Now, 9 months later, I found myself surrounded with women who were in their 60s and above. I couldn’t help but look at these women and be amazed.

See, aren’t you supposed to have it all figured out by then? Aren’t you supposed to know what you want out of life and why? Don’t you know why you are the way that you are by that point in your life?

I’ve heard people with children say, “I wish I had it all figured out.” This constantly surprises me because I’ve always thought, “Wow, I don’t have kids because I don’t have it figured out and I’m waiting for that to happen so that I’ll be ready.”

But seeing these women humble enough to accept that they need help, unwilling to give up on their lives and on who they are and, on the contrary, willing to invest in themselves and find out who they are now gave me so much inspiration.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, how old you are, whether you have kids or not, or how you choose to live your life. The point is to choose: to live your life. The point is to choose: to be the best that you can be. The point is to choose whatever is in your heart because if we’re lucky, we’re all going to reach the age of 60 or 70 and, along the way, keep trying to figure it all out. Each stage brings a new set of challenges and once one issue is solved another challenge is eager to find its way to your doorstep. No one has all the answers and most of us work with only the knowledge we have at that moment in time.

And the point of that: is to never stop learning.

Nightlife? What's That?

05.07.2010

We went out tonight to a place called Cache in Santa Monica and I looked around at the bar/restaurant where we were and I loved the layout and its motif. It was so chic and cool with this great rectangular, mirrored fire pit surrounded by throngs of people as a DJ played awesome music. At one point I turned to Rob and said, “Wow, so this is what a nightlife looks like! I totally forgot.”

Sigh…I might as well have children cause I’ve reached the point where I’m no fun anymore.

(laugh, laugh, chuckle, chuckle….sigh…)