The Day's Reflection

10.29.2010

Today was one of those days where I wasn't home much and now, just getting in with it way passed my bedtime, I’m too zonked to put together a thoughtful entry for today.

But quickly, one of my errands today consisted of taking both our cats to the vet for check-ups and to look into one of the cat’s inflamed lip. This cat has had major health issues over the past 2½ years and I’ve been dreading taking him for fear of finding out that something else is horribly wrong. And I’ve been on such an emotional roller coaster with him in this past year that I had trouble accepting that the ride might not be over.

All the way to the vet’s my stomach was in knots as I played out different scenarios of what the doctor could come to me with and each time the scenario ended with the only choice being having to put him down. This is probably because that was a very real possibility earlier this year.

Thankfully, both cats are healthy for the most part with a few things to watch out for and others to take care of soon. Then at some point the thought crossed my mind, if my worry about our animals got so high that it kicked in my anxiety and I couldn’t eat, what is it going to be like if I have a kid? Hmmm…now that I think about it, if I’m worried about a kid all the time, maybe I’d finally lose those 22 pounds that I can’t seem to shed. Silver lining, people, silver lining. The cynic needs some sort of a silver lining on occasion.

Pressures of a Stressful Week

07.16.2010

Sometimes you have weeks where things go great. This week is not one of those for me. I’ve certainly had great moments but overall, the week was trying. How do mothers deal with feeling overextended? What are ways that mothers cope with feeling like nothing they do is ever good enough? I struggle with such said emotions without a child and I’m quite conscious that these feelings won’t just go away at some point. Is it a matter of telling yourself, “This too shall pass?”