Drinking and a Babymoon

02.15.2011

The following article is from a while ago but interesting nonetheless particularly the blurb about drinking. I haven’t shared my thoughts on drinking (occasionally) during pregnancy because I know people will raise an eyebrow, but I have told Rob that I plan on having a glass of red wine on occasion while pregnant. My philosophy is “everything in moderation.” (Proceed with the judging…)

One other thing re: the article. Apparently there’s something called a “Babymoon.” I first heard about it when we were back east 2 weeks ago. Cue the rolling of my eyes… Really? You can’t just call it a “vacation?”

"I Felt...Unlucky to Be Born a Girl"

12.29.2010

Very often we take for granted what we have here in the US. We’re so far removed from the early days of the first immigrants who perished trying to figure out the lay of the land. Years passed, land expanded and laws formed shaping the country in which we find ourselves today.

We women don’t know a world without having the choice to work or voting, and can’t comprehend what suffragettes like Alice Paul and Lucy Burns had to endure. I also don’t think anyone can understand the value of education like the first and second generation of freed blacks did. We, as a culture, don’t (want to) understand pain and hardship because we search for escape whether it’s through medication, food, or shopping. It's also difficult to comprehend that the rest of the world doesn’t live this way.

I read an article in today’s LA Times that made me appreciate living in this country and in the time period. [1] The article was about the lower class of girls in Nepal who are sold into slavery to pay off their parents’ debts. Often these debts are for basic necessities including fertilizer so that they can farm their land. The money they owe is roughly equivalent to $25 and these girls don’t ever have a chance of leaving their positions because one debt leads to another. These girls’ brothers are, of course, not sold into slavery and are allowed to pursue an education. Hearing such news always angers me. Women endure so much regardless of status or wealth and men will never understand. How do explain any simple injustice to someone whose genitalia opens any door from the get go?

Thankfully, the reason this article was in the Times at all is because things are changing there. Various foundations led by the US-based Nepal Youth Foundation are convincing the fathers that there are other ways to pay off their debt. Ten years ago about 14,000 girls were enslaved. Today the estimates are at 1,000. Many girls are going to school and one said she plans to become a lawyer and help girls like her get out of the slums and get an education.

Those of you with daughters hold them near and my humble advice is to keep the memory of women before us alive and in your daughter’s consciousness, and to those with sons my humble advice is the same. History is not meant to be forgotten. It is to be appreciated and learned from because nothing comes for free. Sacrifices were made on our behalf so that we too could dream of reaching for the stars. By remembering the past, we honor those before us.

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[1] http://articles.latimes.com/2010/dec/28/world/la-fg-nepal-indentured-20101229

Two Babies, Society and a Mystery

11.17.2010

Along with many others, I’ve been intrigued with the LA Times story that broke about a month ago where two women found the remains of two babies in an old trunk stored in a building in McArthur Park since the 1930s.[1]

I’ve been a fan of mystery books since a child, though I don’t read as much of them as I did back then. When I discovered Nancy Drew as a kid, I thought I’d found heaven. Then came the Hardy Boys, though, of course, they weren’t as awesome as Nancy Drew.

So this LA Times story inspired the latent sleuth in me and I began to write various stories in my head about what may have happened. I’m waiting for Hollywood to announce a movie about this and, when that happens, I will be greatly disappointed that I wasn’t hired to write the screenplay. Not that I could write a mystery-themed screenplay but, hey, I’m allowed to be disappointed, even if it’s unwarranted and has no grounding in reality. But, I digress.

In Tuesday's paper, detectives revealed that they found a cousin of the trunk’s owner, a woman named Janet Barrie, and the DNA matched to that of the babies confirming that they were, indeed, hers. Ms. Barrie’s life is a mystery particularly when she moved to LA from Canada where she trained as a nurse. She came out in the 1920s, lived with some women for a while in a building in McArthur Park and eventually became a live-in caretaker for a dying wife of a dentist living in the same building. During that time, Ms. Barrie’s sister speculated that she was having an affair with the dentist and would marry him once the wife died, which is what happened.

Although it may never be known if the dentist fathered the babies because no descendents or family members of his are on record, I think that it’s pretty easy to fill in the blanks.

Back then it was uncouth for an unmarried woman to have kids much less have them with a married man. It’s unclear if the children were aborted but it doesn’t look like they were killed once born. Whatever the case, it makes me think about how much pressure society places on people because it says how one should or shouldn’t live one’s life. This mentality has been a part of humanity’s history and it never ceases to amaze me how much of our actions and beliefs it dictates. I’m certainly guilty of this too, though I wish I could say I wasn’t. But society’s demand for women to be married in order to have kids and be accepted by it may have caused two babies their life. Makes me wonder…

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[1] http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-basement-babies-20101116,0,7126198.story

42 Things That Change with a Baby

10.14.2010

A friend sent a link to the following article and I thought it was a good read for those of us who are childless and are contemplating changing that status.[1] I wanted to write my own comments under each number but that wasn't feasible. Some numbers I disagree with (like #1; I try to stop and take in a beautiful flower, sunset, rainbow etc whenever I can already), (#12; I should’ve been a doctor because bodily functions fascinate me, especially blood and wounds), (and #14. I don’t care what is said I won't become a morning person. I wasn’t even a morning person when I was a baby. Ask my mom who would wake me up.)

Forty-two things that change when you have a baby

by Rebecca Woolf

Last updated: June 2009

What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn't change? Here, writer and mom Rebecca Woolf lists her most notable post-baby observations. Then scroll down to read our favorite comments from readers about how their babies changed their lives.



1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.


2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. [See a reader's perspective in #22, below.]

3. 
The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. 
You respect your body ... finally.


5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.


6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.


7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.


8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.


9. Your heart breaks much more easily.


10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.


11. Every day is a surprise.


12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)


13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.


14. You become a morning person.


15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.



And from our readers...



1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom

2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous


3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte


4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom


5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne


6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kellye


7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous


8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda


9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom


10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom


11. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom


12. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog." — Kara [Many readers begged to differ, saying things like, " I disagree with number 12. My dogs are my additional children," "Nothing about previous babies, whether two- or four-legged, changes when a new miracle comes along," "My dog will never be 'just a dog," and "This is sad to me. My dog is still my baby too."]
13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey


14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom


15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom
16. You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place. — Arizona
17. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do! — Ciara
18. You start to appreciate Sesame Street for its intellectual contribution. — Anon.
19. You have to quit watching the news because you see every story from a mother's perspective and it breaks your heart. — Brooke&Boys
20. You just plain love life more - everything comes together and becomes better because of one tiny person and your love for them. — Anon.
21. You finally find out the real reason you have those breasts. — Anon.
22. In response to #2 [above], I'd say that where you were once afraid, you're now fearless. I was always very timid and shy and let myself get walked all over … but now where my kid's concerned, I'll speak my mind and really connect with my inner "b"! — gummismom
23. The support you get from other people surprises you, because the people giving it are not always the ones you'd expect. — japanese_macaque
24. Nothing is just yours any longer. You share EVERYTHING! — DylanLsMom
25. No matter what you've accomplished in life, you look at your child and think, "I've done a GREAT job!" — Anon.
26. You want to take better care of yourself for your child. — Treasor
27. You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like "ahhh" and "oooo." — littlehulk2008

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[1] http://www.babycenter.com/0_forty-two-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc?scid=preg_2_20101014:2&pe=2Uza9oW

Rare Genitalia Disorder Sparks Homosexuality Debate

08.22.2010

I’m so angry about this that I don’t even know where to begin. A Los Angeles Times article on Sunday, August 15, 2010 reported on a rare genitalia disorder with which some children are born and how the proposed treatment has raised great concern for the gay community.

A prenatal pill is now available that can prevent “adrenal hyperplasia.” This condition affect 1:15,000 babies and almost all newborns are screened for it. What is it, you ask? A child is born with ambiguous genitalia. This is not an issue of being a hermaphrodite. Heavy accumulation of male hormones has collected within the body that the genitals are so masculinized that it’s difficult to determine the baby’s gender. It affects both boys and girls but, obviously, it’s more problematic for girls. Proponents for this pill argue that it will make sure that the girl will not “become” a lesbian.

The pill does nothing to treat or cure the condition once it happens in utero but the controversy behind it is the way it’s being marketed, as if being gay is a disease that can be fixed.

This pill hasn’t been researched enough on humans and on the tests in animals the risks have included: increased risk of high blood pressure, changes in glucose metabolism (what monitors your inter-conversion of carbs), changes in brain structure and brain function that lead to memory problems.

What appalls me is the wish to manipulate cells because they are a part of what will become a human who might be gay. Or let’s consider the argument that a human life starts at conception. This pill alters normal development risking this life so that, as believed by many, he/she won’t choose being gay one day.

Interestingly, most of the 143 girls tracked in a 2008 study who weren’t treated for the condition prenatally were found to be heterosexual. And of this 143, more women considered themselves bisexual or homosexual than in a control group.

Why is there so much need to control and manipulate someone’s life? And now this issue is affecting those before they are even born… If there is a God and this God creates a child in a certain way, why do we reject him/her because he/she is not OUR ideal? Does not God say to love, to respect and to accept each other because each of us is a part of Him? And if we are all a part of Him but we seek to manipulate cells and control a particular outcome of someone’s life because the lifestyle is unacceptable to us, aren’t we then rejecting God?

Recommended Articles Re: Weight, TV, and Bullying

05.03.2010

Two articles I’d like to share. One deals with children who are obese and how this increases their risk of being bullied at school.

http://health.yahoo.com/news/healthday/bulliestargetobesekids.html

The other article is about scientists finding a link between children who watch TV at the age of 2 and the (physical) problems they face at the age of 10.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/watchingtvatage2linkedtoahostofproblemsat10

Regarding the 2^nd article, the only thing that comes to mind for me is that I never watched TV until I was about 7 years old because we didn’t own a TV until then (and that was only because my sister’s dad and other daughter moved in with us and they needed to learn English). I had major trouble in school by the time I was 10 but, now that I think about it, it probably had more to do with what was going on at home than not watching TV at 2. Anyway, interesting read.