Concrete Blonde's "When I Was a Fool"

07.12.2010

As you know, Rob and I have been discussing the topic of kids for forever and we go back and forth. Oddly, he’s more ready for a family than I am. Isn’t it usually the other way around? Well, I’ve never been the “typical” one. Neither has he. I guess that’s why we’re together.

Anyway, he recently went to see Concrete Blonde and heard the song When I was a Fool and saw it and interpreted it in a new light. He sent me the lyrics and then we discussed them a bit. Currently, Johnette Napolitano (the lead singer) is a woman in her early 50s and the song is a reflection upon her decision to not have kids. I have comments underneath.

WHEN I WAS A FOOL

I re-read silly lines that made sense at the time, Pages all stained with tears and red wine, And I walk through the airport and see magazines, Every face that I see so much younger than me,

And I smile to myself how I don’t even miss My glorious past or the lips that I've kissed, And I think to myself how easy this is, Easy to breathe, easy to live,

And I wonder why I tear myself in two Over how to be, what to say, and what to do, And I know you liked me better then, And I know you liked me better when I was a fool.

So I live in these days but I still have my old ways, ’Cause the future somehow has yet to arrive, And I see all around me the women on time, Kids and divorces and crisis in midlife,

And do I surrender and give up my dream, For a brick in the wall and a washing machine? Grow up and get real for a kid in her teens Who won't care what I've done, where I've been, what I've seen?

And I wonder why I tear myself in two Over who to be, how to be, and what to do, And I know you liked me better then, And I know you liked me better when I was a fool.

I'm free to a fault, I’m 45, I’m playing guitar, I’m living my life, Fly down the highway, Sun on my face, I belong to nobody, I belong to no place.

The first thought that popped into my head upon reading these lyrics is that they seem so sad especially the last two lines. I have yet to meet anyone (any woman) who chose to not have children and lived well into her life and didn’t regret the decision. And, as a result, I find that the person seeks out ways to connect to kids either via a sibling’s children or, like Oprah, opening up schools and raising money and/or awareness for children-oriented places or organizations. Whatever happens with me personally, whatever path I choose to take, I know that I will throw myself completely in it. The problem, though, in doing that, there’s a danger of losing myself. And I'm so scared of that.

John Mayer's "Daughters"

05.19.2010

I wanted to include the lyrics to John Mayer's "Daughters" for several reasons. One, it's a beautiful song and despite knowing the rumors that he's a bit of a shmuck and a total casanova, it's a very deep song. But, most importantly, I think it really summarizes a lot of what I've been talking about since I started the blog in regards to how much of our actions are transpired on to our kids whether we know it or not. We are examples to our children with how to behave and we are also examples of how we love ourselves and how we love our partners. This is how children learn to view and love the world and this song is a good reminder.

I know a girl/ She puts the color inside of my world / But she's just like a maze / Where all of the walls are continually changed / And I've done all I can / To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands / Now I'm starting to see / Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters / Daughters will love like you do / Girls become lovers who turn into mothers / So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin? / It's the same she's been standing in / Since the day she saw him walking away / Now I'm left / Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters / Daughters will love like you do / Girls become lovers who turn into mothers / So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break / You'll find out how much they can take / Boys will be strong / And boys soldier on / But boys would be gone without the warmth from / A woman’s good, good heart

On behalf of every man / Looking out for every girl / You are the guide and the weight of her world / So fathers, be good to your daughters / Daughters will love like you do / Girls become lovers who turn into mothers / So mothers, be good to your daughters too