Not So Clueless Behavior

12.06.2010

The universe must’ve read my yesterday’s posting because today I was having dinner at a food court when I heard a child crying uncontrollably while in the midst of a complete and utter meltdown. Like, the throw-himself-down-on-the-ground-kind of meltdown.

I took one look at the mom who seemed totally overwhelmed and my heart went out to her. After taking a moment to probably gather her strength, she lifted him off the ground, still screaming (though not kicking), and headed out of the food court. As hard as I know that was for her, I wanted to thank her because I knew once she was gone, we’d have quiet but she wouldn’t.

This reminded me of hearing stories from my mom and how she dealt with my sister’s screaming for the first 5 years of her life. I have a vague recollection of my sister’s constant crying but I do have a good recollection of our neighbor with a deep voice being the only one capable of calming her down. He spent many a night at our house while my mom was studying for her Master’s exams. My mom often retells the moments of how well she understood being pushed to the fringes of insanity by a crying child and would often walk away from her, go to the bathroom, cling to the sink and count for as long as it took her to calm down. She says that if she hadn’t done that she would’ve been arrested for child abuse.

I sometimes wonder how I’d be able to handle a child like that. Rob and I are pretty low key; I tend to have a lot of patience and it takes a lot to push me. But if I had a child that constantly cried and deprived me of sleep and sanity, then, well, I’m not quite sure what the outcome would be. I understand everything in phases…but…I don’t know…I’d be taking a lot of midnight walks and probably, like my mom, know how to count really, really, really well.

Why Won't She Listen?

08.18.2010

While getting some work done yesterday afternoon, I heard a huge ruckus coming from the balcony of one of the apartments on the second floor. And by ruckus I mean stuff being thrown and slammed up against the wall. Then, the screen door got pulled open and slammed shut. The 7-8-year old boy who lives there kept yelling something about “not taking it.” I’ve been privy to this kid’s temper tantrums before but, this time, it was by far the most dramatic.

I could hear his single-mom’s voice react very calmly and soon, after one denial too many, he got sent to his room. After about 10 minutes of hearing nothing, I suddenly heard him shriek and then silence. I don’t know what happened or why but it’s enough to know this kid’s got issues. And he’s only seven.

And this fact isn’t news. The family moved in earlier this year and within days we had trouble with him. I started to notice different toys (some broken), pieces of pottery and an iPod shuffle tossed on our patio. I confronted his mom who, of course, denied recognizing the toys and claimed that her son (and daughter) wouldn’t toss stuff off their balcony. When I presented her with the pottery, she immediately recognized it as a project her son had done the year before. Interestingly, her focus was on how much she liked it and now it was broken. When I showed her the iPod shuffle she insisted that it wasn’t theirs. I later found out that it belonged to another neighbor’s daughter having gone missing after the boy came over to play.

My heart goes out to the mom only so far. I was raised with a single parent; I’m well aware of what kind of an environment those kids are in. But her son has problems and she won’t deal with it.

I saw two cops leaving our building not too long after his outburst and maybe they will serve as a wake-up call. I don’t know for sure if they went to her apartment but… The shrieking was gruesome.

I wish parents would listen to their kids. They might be little but they are humans who are very capable of feeling happiness, loneliness, and fear. Too many parents forget that.