If I Could Save Time in a Bottle

01.31.2011

One month of this new year…gone. Amazing, isn’t it? I sometimes wish that I could experience the world without time. I remember reading that Einstein said that time is relative. Have you ever found yourself feeling like time was dragging and other times, you look at the clock, it’s a certain time and in what seems like a blink of an eye, 5 hours have gone by? Einstein would use that as an example to explain how there really is no such thing as “time.” And I agree. Humans made it up. Once upon a time, the US was all over the place with the clock. Each state tracked time differently but it wasn’t until the transcontinental railroad was built that government unified time.

I think it’d be quite freeing to live in a world without time. Then it wouldn’t be so scary to see its passage on children. I remember adults telling me how fast I was growing up and I couldn’t stand it. I figured they had nothing else to say to me other than lamenting their own lost youth. Now I’m on the flip side of that coin and, dammit, if that’s not how I feel. It’s not like I necessarily wish to be young again. I just wish I had that time. Imagine if we didn’t live in such a linear society... There’d be no “Wow, where did the last 30 years go by?” It would just be. I think we’d be more inclined to live each day in the moment. Perhaps that is a reason people have kids. Small children have no concept of time and each day is filled with wonder. We adults lose those qualities somewhere along the way and our children remind us of the beauty of the moment. And of course, it is those moments that we capture in our minds that instantly become beloved memories, just like yesterday, just like today and just like tomorrow will be...

What Would It Be Like?

01.30.2011

I was thinking about a conversation I had with my 7^th grade teacher recently about how afraid I was to have a daughter because of the often contentious relationships that mother-daughters have. My mom and I weren’t constantly at each other’s throats while I was growing up but it certainly wasn’t harmonious. And when it wasn’t harmonious it was definitely thunderous.

Combining my conversation with my teacher and my memories, it became crystal clear that my personal experiences were shaping my predictions. I had a certain relationship with my mom and I’m assuming I’d have the same one with my own daughter. My teacher said that she had a pretty good relationship with her daughter and if I were to take a moment to think about it, I’d be able to name a couple of other girl friends I know that had a pretty solid relationship with their mother.

What this mentality of mine underscores is how narrow-minded I’m being. What I’ve done is automatically assume that I’m the same person as my mom and that my daughter would be the same person as I. Yes, I will (and already have) find myself mimicking my mother’s ways but I already react to situations as a whole quite differently than my mom. In fact, it’s always been like that; a source of contention between us. I’m sure my daughter would have aspects of my personality but she’ll also have aspects of Rob's. She’d be her own person and I need to trust that I will be my own person and make my own mistakes and have my own triumphs as a parent. Comparing myself to anyone, especially my own mom, doesn’t do me any good. I’d like to take the parts of my mom’s parenting I love and repeat those because, after all, she did raise me so she did something right. (happy, winky face.)

Free The Hikers: Part II

01.29.2011

Briefly on the event the other night… It included a short documentary on the hikers and their plight with interviews with family members and Sarah Shourd herself. It was heartbreaking to listen to what the mothers went through when they found out that their children were caught and detained (and what they’re still going through). The Iranian government has lead them on several times about their release by giving an official release date, but the date came and went without incident. Since the hikers were caught, the mothers have spoken to their sons two or three times and were granted a visit once. The entire situation is horrendous and the overall treatment of the hikers underscores how dark humanity can get.

I imagine that when a child is born, parents want to do everything in their power to protect him/her. As a result, I can understand how this alone makes it difficult for a parent to let go of a child at any stage. The world is a scary place. It’s hard to fathom what it feels like to suddenly lose a family member in whatever capacity like murder or political prisoner.

This is going to seem like a silly comparison but some years back my sister and I had a deep schism in our relationship that culminated in our not speaking to each other except for an occasional moment at a family function two or three times a year. This was an excruciatingly painful time for me because I had to learn to let go. With 7 years difference between us, I’ve often expressed maternal instincts toward her and I wanted to protect her from the situation she was in but I couldn’t. I also didn’t know for how long she’d allow herself to be in that situation and I didn’t know if our relationship was irreparable. Luckily, it was. But I understand the deep desire for something to be a certain way and yet you can’t change it no matter how desperate you are. You have to let the child (or sibling) go through the storm and find ways to let him/her know that when he/she finds his/her way back to land, you’ll be their lighthouse. My wish is for those hikers’ storm to end quickly and for them to come home to the lighthouses that wait shining and patient.

Phoning It In Today

01.28.2011

I’m phoning it in today. I have had pink eye for the past 2 weeks (I keep getting relapses) and my eyes are strained beyond belief right now because I’ve been staring at a computer screen getting ready my Lithuanian school lessons for the next 3 weeks. So I’m sure there’s much heartbreak for me not writing anything.

Free The Hikers: Part I

01.27.2011

I’ve had an incredibly intense emotional day today so the most that I can do is post a link to a website that gives information about the hikers that were detained in Iran. I heard Sarah Shourd, who was released in September, speak tonight and was greatly inspired. I promise to write more about this tomorrow when I have the head space to do so but Sarah’s mother was present tonight and the two gentlemen that are still detained have mothers back home here in the US that wait to hold their sons once again. If you have a child, I’m sure you can imagine the pain that these mothers endure knowing their sons are in confinement for no reason and for an indefinite period of time.

http://freethehikers.org/

Octomom's Babies Turn Two

01.26.2011

This video was in the sideline of Yahoo! and I couldn’t help but click on the video because I find Octomom so repulsive. Underneath the video is written the following:

“Sixteen candles? The first surviving octuplets are turning two Wednesday. But they probably won't be the last: thanks to fertility drugs, multiple births like Nadya Suleman's are becoming more common.”

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

(As the day before yesterday’s video, there’s no way to post it up on blogspot, so here’s the link):

http://whoknew.news.yahoo.com/?nc&vid=23961800

Sexualizing

01.24.2011

Rob passed along the following video that’s from a new segment on the Today Show about parenting. Today’s topic was about daughters and the push for pink and princesses. Author and mother, Peggy Orenstein whose book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, was a guest talking about the sexualizing of girls and how the push for girls to be beautiful and sexy is getting younger and younger.

A psychologist on the show wasn’t able to present evidence to show prove or disprove Peggy’s argument and said that there weren’t enough studies done to look at the consequences but that it ultimately is up to the parents to be role models. Your children will learn to behave from you and they will learn what to value from you. The most important piece of advice the psychologist had to offer, though, is that if you let your children watch TV, to open up communication about what it is their watching.

Unfortunately, there’s no link to post it up on blogspot (only twitter and FB), so here’s the link to the video (It’s about 6 minutes long.):

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/3041445/vp/41231263/#41231263