Martin Luther King, Jr and Tracy Chapman

01.17.2011

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’d like to share the lyrics to Tracy Chapman’s “Across the Lines.” I believe that much has been accomplished since the days of slavery and the civil rights era of the 1960s but there is still much needed that could change. It’s easy for me to say, of course, because I don’t have to walk in the shoes of a black person in the US on a daily basis, but I would like to be optimistic.

Perhaps there will be a generation where not only blacks and whites will look beyond the color of one’s skin and see each other as people first and foremost, but that such a mentality will cross over into the treatment of other minorities, religions, and ethnicities.

Across the Lines

by Tracy Chapman

From her self-titled debut album, 1988

Across the lines

Who would dare to go

Under the bridge

Over the tracks

That separates whites from blacks

Choose sides

Run for your lives

Tonight the riots begin

On the back streets of america

They kill the dream of america

Little black girl gets assaulted

Ain’t no reason why

Newspaper prints the story

And racist tempers fly

Next day it starts a riot

Knives and guns are drawn

Two black boys get killed

One white boy goes blind

Across the lines

Who would dare to go

Under the bridge

Over the tracks

That separates whites from blacks

Choose sides

Run for your lives

Tonight the riots begin

On the back streets of america

They kill the dream of america

Little black girl gets assaulted

Don’t no one know her name

Lots of people hurt and angry

She’s the one to blame

Across the lines

Who would dare to go

Under the bridge

Over the tracks

That separates whites from blacks

Choose sides

Run for your lives

Tonight the riots begin

On the back streets of america

They kill the dream of america

Tears, Chocolate and Letting Go

09.02.2010

Ever have one of those days where the tears just roll down your cheeks? You cry because you can’t open the jar of peanut butter and the chocolate is getting lonely. You cry because a bad driver cut you off and he’ll never know. Then you cry because you’re crying and you’re an adult not a three-year old that then makes you cry even harder because you’ve just compared yourself to a three-year old. Well, I had one of those days.

If my thought bubbles were ever seen, there’d be much confusion, but there would be one that would be clearly seen: I am scared.

Scared of what?

You name it. Spiders, bugs, flying, losing control, having too much control and not living my life, part of my past catching up with me…having a kid…

There’s a woman that I know who chose to never have kids because she was terrified of what it would do to her body/figure. How shallow! I thought. And to let fear dictate you like that...

But looking into the mirror, I ask, how different am I? One of the main reasons I don’t want kids is because of fear. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of losing myself. Fear of losing touch with my husband. Fear of losing my freedom. Fear of regret.

I spewed all these images of fear to someone who then replied, “There are things you’ll give up, yes. But there are things you’ll gain too.”

I know that when one door closes, another one opens. I understand that something has to be given up in order to gain another. Yes, there are moments where I miss being single but would I give up my husband in order to be single all the time? No. I may miss what I now see as the “carefree” days of my teens and early 20s, but would I go back to that time? No.

Kids are a risk and there’s no guarantee. But so is getting in a car and driving across town. So is marriage. So is life. The only guarantee is that there is no guarantee. When I look to all other aspects of my life, I apply this so much more readily. In fact, I welcome it. I like that I have to unravel the mysteries that come my way and be surprised. Why is it so difficult to apply this same strategy to having kids?

Perhaps today’s tears weren’t so much about the fear of what’s to come but more about the fear of one day needing to let go of the only life I’ve ever known.

Future Judgement

08.17.2010

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how unfair our world is, which is, I know, not breaking news. But the thing that goes over in my mind like a broken record is how unfairly women get treated and judged. There are men who look at women as objects. There are men who look at women as weaklings. There are men who have no respect for their talents and strengths.

This led me to think about the future. My future. If we had a child, what would I say to her about encountering men who dismiss her just because she’s female? Or, if the child’s a boy, what would I tell him about accepting women as individuals just like we accept him?

With these questions in mind, I sat down and wrote two letters.

Dear Daughter,

In this world, you will experience a lot of magic, mystery, and play as well as pain, suffering, and judgment. I won’t always be there when you experience these and I won’t always have the answers. But I hope for one thing: that by the time you’re my age, you will easily shrug off any feelings of inadequacy that a man may try to make you feel. You might feel weak at times and you might have moments when their words will seem to be truer than what’s in your heart. But remember what Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” These men, and anyone else who tries to keep you down, will do everything in their power to make sure you’re kept down. Use the wings of your imagination and don’t be afraid because believing in yourself is the greatest weapon a person can ever behold.

To My Son,

I wish for you to know your strengths and capabilities so that you can achieve whatever your imagination conjures up and whatever your heart desires.

I also hope that you understand compassion, love, and acceptance. I hope that when you look at a woman you see a person and accept her inner beauty, her unconditional love, and…her flaws. I hope that when a man belittles a woman you will stand up for her even if it means you’re the only one who’s standing. I hope you see that this strategy of judgment that so many men use in order to feel empowered actually makes them weak. I hope you know that you are better than that.

These convictions will be appreciated and even sought after. Believing in the right thing makes your heart feel full and this is the second greatest weapon a person can ever behold. The first is believing in yourself.

Wondering About My Future Hindsight

07.03.2010

I sometimes wonder about how I’ll one day look back on what I’ve written and what will I consider to be utter bullshit and/or what I will consider insightful (if anything). I also wonder what I’ll find to be pretentious on my part and, if anything, what I’ll find interesting that I thought about. Hindsight is always 20/20 an I feel that this experiment that I’m conducing is like the letter I wrote to myself one year at the beginning of the school year in grade school and then, at the end of the school year, I opened my letter and was surprised by what was important to me and what did or didn’t happen with my expectations for the year. That’s such a useful exercise, I think. If you have never done it, I highly recommend doing so. I did it with my 8^th graders my first year teaching and it was wonderful to watch their faces at the end of the year.