Babies Make Adults Go Bananas

03.03.2011

I went with my sister to buy a baby shower gift and I thought I’d run out of the store screaming. First off, the service wasn’t very good and second, the store was split into two locations, each across the hall from each other. So you had to walk from one side to the other to find what you wanted and if someone was helping you on one side but you needed something from the other, they’d send you out and you’d have to wait for someone else to help you. I couldn’t understand why the first person couldn’t just walk over the 3 steps to the other side of the hall and help. But I’m being rational.

I don’t understand why we go so bananas for baby stuff. It’s damn expensive for one. You buy an outfit for $30, the kid’s gonna wear it once because he or she will completely destroy it or he/she will have grown out of it by the time you want to put on that outfit again. I keep telling Rob that I wish it were acceptable to not put shoes on kids and make them wear a burlap sack until they’ve stopped growing. Or at least until they’re in high school and are old enough to get a job and pay for shoes and clothes themselves.

There’s just so much stuff that comes with having a kid. And I’m sure parents don’t mind because of the mushy, gushy, “unconditional love takes over” mentality but…I don’t know. Half of the stuff we have for babies and kids wasn’t around 100 years ago and people still got by. I mean, a $200 video baby monitor? That creeps me out. Newborn toys that make noise? Don’t get me started. Swaddles that lock a baby in preventing him/her from moving? I know babies want to feel like they’re back in the womb but when I held in my hand that packaged swaddle that locks in a baby, my claustrophobia kicked in. They’re able to move more in the womb!

I suppose I don’t “get” any of this because I don’t have a baby. But honestly, I look at what’s out there and, you have to admit, most people expecting a baby register for pretty much the same items and after this Saturday I will have been to 2 baby showers in a month with another one in 3 weeks, and I’ve seen the same items on the lists. So I’m picking up on what mothers are getting but just like I questioned ¾ of the stuff I was told by “experts” I must register for on my wedding registry (and didn't), I’m beginning to question the whole baby registry must-haves too.

Giving Gifts

12.21.2010

Happy Winter Solstice!

It gives me great joy to give a child a gift especially when I hedge my bets that the child will love what they’re getting. I gave two little girls gifts in the last week and it brought me such warmth to see how happy my (our) gift made them. I feel like Mrs. Claus.

Seeking Baby Shower Gift Help

09.14.2010

OK, mommies…I need some help. I was invited to a baby shower and I, unfortunately, can’t go but I want to get the mommy-to-be something anyway. She is, of course, registered at various places but I'd like to find out from you moms out there what were some items that you really wished you had for the 1^st year of baby’s life that you didn’t have because you didn't think to register for them or any items that you found you needed more of (besides diapers).

Thanks!

Tears, Chocolate and Letting Go

09.02.2010

Ever have one of those days where the tears just roll down your cheeks? You cry because you can’t open the jar of peanut butter and the chocolate is getting lonely. You cry because a bad driver cut you off and he’ll never know. Then you cry because you’re crying and you’re an adult not a three-year old that then makes you cry even harder because you’ve just compared yourself to a three-year old. Well, I had one of those days.

If my thought bubbles were ever seen, there’d be much confusion, but there would be one that would be clearly seen: I am scared.

Scared of what?

You name it. Spiders, bugs, flying, losing control, having too much control and not living my life, part of my past catching up with me…having a kid…

There’s a woman that I know who chose to never have kids because she was terrified of what it would do to her body/figure. How shallow! I thought. And to let fear dictate you like that...

But looking into the mirror, I ask, how different am I? One of the main reasons I don’t want kids is because of fear. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of losing myself. Fear of losing touch with my husband. Fear of losing my freedom. Fear of regret.

I spewed all these images of fear to someone who then replied, “There are things you’ll give up, yes. But there are things you’ll gain too.”

I know that when one door closes, another one opens. I understand that something has to be given up in order to gain another. Yes, there are moments where I miss being single but would I give up my husband in order to be single all the time? No. I may miss what I now see as the “carefree” days of my teens and early 20s, but would I go back to that time? No.

Kids are a risk and there’s no guarantee. But so is getting in a car and driving across town. So is marriage. So is life. The only guarantee is that there is no guarantee. When I look to all other aspects of my life, I apply this so much more readily. In fact, I welcome it. I like that I have to unravel the mysteries that come my way and be surprised. Why is it so difficult to apply this same strategy to having kids?

Perhaps today’s tears weren’t so much about the fear of what’s to come but more about the fear of one day needing to let go of the only life I’ve ever known.