Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Monday, December 27, 2010

Shower Drama

12.27.2010

What is baby shower etiquette? Who throws a shower for someone?

I’m going to find myself in a real pickle in a few months when it’s be time for a friend to have her baby shower. I already told her that I wouldn’t organize it. Sound mean? Well, yes. But it’s also for my protection.

I would do absolutely anything for this friend; however, my friend has a friend who is a nightmare to deal with. When my friend got married, I had to witness how this particular person brought my friend to tears or would stress her out beyond words because of her selfishness. Being the matron-of-honor, I threw the bridal shower and I refuse to go through what I went through to put that shower together. Granted, were I to throw the baby shower for my friend, I wouldn’t have to involve anyone else…but the negative energy of this friend would find its way into the planning processes, I’m sure. She single-handedly almost ruined my friend’s wedding because she insisted on making everything about her. I don’t want to have to deal with that, were I to throw a baby shower, because, Lord, it’s my friend who’s having a baby, not her. I told Rob that if I do throw the shower, I’m going to be one hell of a bitch. I’m done being polite.

I know my friend was slightly hurt when I made my declaration but I want to enjoy the process of throwing a party, not finding myself trying to swat away mosquitoes buzzing in my ear with their opinions. So I guess what I’m seeking is advice and/or thoughts on how to best handle this situation: Should I flat out refuse or should I do it but make sure the other woman isn’t involved and not feel like I’m doing something wrong?

(I already suggested that the other woman throw the shower but my friend refuses to entertain that idea.)

Friday, November 5, 2010

10 Reminders For Moms (Or Life in General)

11.05.2010

I came across this blog entry with the topic of 10 habits that happy moms do, and though it’s not revolutionary information, it’s always a good reminder…even if you don’t have kids. Reminders such as, take time for yourself. With any kid, my challenges will be #3, #5, #6 with the most challenging of all, #7.[1]

1. Find time for yourself

Happy moms know they deserve a little time to themselves. When you know you're going to have a little room to breathe later on in the day, it's easier to take on everything that's in front of you. Our formula? Take 2 hours out for yourself every 3 days.

2. Don't make a happy baby, happier! We all do it...you see your baby's head at what you're sure is an unnatural angle snoozing in their car seat. You just know they'll be happier if their head was straight. So you move them. And they wake up. Then they scream. Or, you see them playing happily in the sand. You just know they'll be happier if they played on the slide. So you interrupt them and move them to the slide. And they're angry. And they let you know they're REALLY angry. Here's the thing, they were happy. It can be hard to do, but if your kid's not complaining, leave them be! Happy baby = Happy Mommy.

3. Embrace the mess
So your house doesn’t look like something out of a magazine. That just means it’s cozy! Your children have hands coated in dirt from the playground and faces coated in spaghetti from dinner. It’s not gross—it’s an adorable photo op! Life is about how you look at things. Next time that pile of laundry that’s been sitting on the chair for three days starts to get you down, just remember… it’s probably feng shui.

4. Make time for your friends
Your family can survive without you while you make time to see friends. You are a woman with your own identity and its imperative that you and that identity go out for some margaritas once in awhile!

5. Stop blowing yourself off
While you may be the one taking care of everyone, it doesn't mean you can't also get what you want. Help your family realize your needs are as important as theirs and when mom is happy, everyone is happy, but when mom is not....

6. Get in the zone
Take 10 minutes to do absolutely nothing but rest. Take a break from your day, close your eyes, breath in slowly and deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Repeat several times. Think about a place you love that is relaxing, spend 10 minutes there in your mind.

7. Remember your dreams and goals
 Everyday we are encouraging our children to reach their full potential. But sometimes in the midst of being a parent we forget about our own dreams and goals. The best thing you can do to encourage a child is to lead by example –happy moms hold on to their dreams and goals and don’t let go.

8. Be lighthearted
Don't be the uptight mom. Be silly and dance with your kids to their music or tv show tunes. Be romantic and pull your partner into a waltz. Dance in slippery socks in your kitchen while making dinner.

9. Bend the Rules
One of the best parts of making the rules is occasionally breaking them. Maybe it’s taking your child out of school for half a day on their birthday, or waking them up in the middle of the night to see a sky of shooting stars. Happy moms know how to turn the mundane into fun.

10. Mind your own business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Stop seeking the validation of others and be confident in yourself.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Reflections of Motherhood

08.31.2010

I found this posted on my FB account today (thank you! – you know who you are.) It’s a beautiful vignette of moms and what they would tell themselves before they had their first child. One of the mom’s cards made me cry…and it’s not the one about the boy being sick…