Shower Drama

12.27.2010

What is baby shower etiquette? Who throws a shower for someone?

I’m going to find myself in a real pickle in a few months when it’s be time for a friend to have her baby shower. I already told her that I wouldn’t organize it. Sound mean? Well, yes. But it’s also for my protection.

I would do absolutely anything for this friend; however, my friend has a friend who is a nightmare to deal with. When my friend got married, I had to witness how this particular person brought my friend to tears or would stress her out beyond words because of her selfishness. Being the matron-of-honor, I threw the bridal shower and I refuse to go through what I went through to put that shower together. Granted, were I to throw the baby shower for my friend, I wouldn’t have to involve anyone else…but the negative energy of this friend would find its way into the planning processes, I’m sure. She single-handedly almost ruined my friend’s wedding because she insisted on making everything about her. I don’t want to have to deal with that, were I to throw a baby shower, because, Lord, it’s my friend who’s having a baby, not her. I told Rob that if I do throw the shower, I’m going to be one hell of a bitch. I’m done being polite.

I know my friend was slightly hurt when I made my declaration but I want to enjoy the process of throwing a party, not finding myself trying to swat away mosquitoes buzzing in my ear with their opinions. So I guess what I’m seeking is advice and/or thoughts on how to best handle this situation: Should I flat out refuse or should I do it but make sure the other woman isn’t involved and not feel like I’m doing something wrong?

(I already suggested that the other woman throw the shower but my friend refuses to entertain that idea.)

Trading the Party Life for an Old Woman Life

07.09.2010

At what point did the change happen? I asked myself. This question was prompted because of the new neighbors who moved in on the 3^rd floor about a week ago. I remember taking one look at them and knew there’d be trouble. And by trouble, I mean parties. The guys are in their early 20s and most likely have yuppie, high-paying jobs because that’s the only “kind” that can afford to live on the Westside. I am a yuppie by proxy because I live on the Westside and anything outside of the vicinity of where I live is considered to be “far” and “over there,” but hey, I admit it. The only reason I can live where I live is because I’ve been in the same apt. for 27 years and I (we) reap the benefits of rent control. Any landowner’s/ apt. building owner’s nightmare, I know.

When my mom moved out 11 years ago, I was throwing a party about once a month. There didn’t even have to be n excuse; I just threw a party to throw it. I had no money, but hey that’s what credit cards were for, right? For as financially responsible as I usually was (and am) once in a while I would do something where only later I questioned where that responsibility went for on vacation.

So tonight, for the 2^nd Friday in a row, the guys had people over and had their soiree on their patio creating an echoe. I was annoyed because it was already after 11 pm and I could hear them (once upon a time I was just getting started at that time). I wanted to be mad but then I told myself that my neighbors put up with me while I went through my party stage.

I tried to figure out when I grew out of that “party stage” and went into “old woman stage.” The fact that I have difficulty staying up past 10 pm – and if I do I’m cranky – worries me because, with a newborn, you’re up every 2 hours. And, from what I hear, you basically give up sleep for the first many years of the child’s life. I love sleep. I’ve always loved sleep. One of my mom’s favorite stories about me is that she’d have to wake me up when I was a baby because I would just sleep all day. And, to make matters worse, I hear that the older you get the quicker you get tired with kids because you just don’t have the same energy that you do when in your 20s.

I don’t know…everyone says it’s different when you have your own kids. You don’t mind being tired or doing the extra work around the house. I guess I do what I need to do when I’m tired in order to take care of the cats. Sometimes abiding by a strict medicine/feeding schedule gets cumbersome but I do it because I love him and I know it helps keep him alive and well.

Everything in perspective, right?