Shower Drama

12.27.2010

What is baby shower etiquette? Who throws a shower for someone?

I’m going to find myself in a real pickle in a few months when it’s be time for a friend to have her baby shower. I already told her that I wouldn’t organize it. Sound mean? Well, yes. But it’s also for my protection.

I would do absolutely anything for this friend; however, my friend has a friend who is a nightmare to deal with. When my friend got married, I had to witness how this particular person brought my friend to tears or would stress her out beyond words because of her selfishness. Being the matron-of-honor, I threw the bridal shower and I refuse to go through what I went through to put that shower together. Granted, were I to throw the baby shower for my friend, I wouldn’t have to involve anyone else…but the negative energy of this friend would find its way into the planning processes, I’m sure. She single-handedly almost ruined my friend’s wedding because she insisted on making everything about her. I don’t want to have to deal with that, were I to throw a baby shower, because, Lord, it’s my friend who’s having a baby, not her. I told Rob that if I do throw the shower, I’m going to be one hell of a bitch. I’m done being polite.

I know my friend was slightly hurt when I made my declaration but I want to enjoy the process of throwing a party, not finding myself trying to swat away mosquitoes buzzing in my ear with their opinions. So I guess what I’m seeking is advice and/or thoughts on how to best handle this situation: Should I flat out refuse or should I do it but make sure the other woman isn’t involved and not feel like I’m doing something wrong?

(I already suggested that the other woman throw the shower but my friend refuses to entertain that idea.)