Showing posts with label daughters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daughters. Show all posts

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Clothing Store Experience

08.27.2010

I was at Ross and while standing in line I noticed a mother with her teenaged daughter and another child of about three in a stroller. I would normally make no comment on someone’s race, religion or ethnicity, etc, as I believe such information is unnecessary, but for my particular story it is.

Judging by the head scarves that both mother and daughter wore, I’m guessing that they were Muslim. (I acknowledge that I could be wrong but for the sake of my story, let’s say they were.)

I admit that, like most Americans, I know very little about this religion or its customs. And even though what I saw happened could’ve occurred to anyone, it’s the daughter’s attitude that struck a chord with me.

There were two things I saw. First, when the family was called to the register, the teenaged daughter went ahead of her mother who was having trouble carrying clothes in one hand and pushing the stroller with the other. When the mother dropped a pair of shoes, she yelled out to her daughter (in their native language) who turned around, with an attitude, and said what I imagined to be something along the lines of, “What?” or “How is that my problem?”

The mother said something to make her daughter walk back while at the same time kicking the pair of shoes at her. I was shocked. She was holding one other thing in her hand and I couldn’t understand why she didn’t just bend down to pick them up. Why did she kick the shoes at her daughter?

Once at the register, I observed the daughter giving total attitude to her mom. You know, the typical teenaged attitude that expresses you so totally and seriously don’t want to be seen with your mom because she’s so lame and doesn’t know anything.

This made me think about cultural differences. Does this kind of an attitude among teens exist in the Muslim world? What I do know about them is that they’re deeply religious and very tight with their families. Was this girl’s attitude a result of living in the States?

I’m sure this behavior is blamed on the Americanization of their culture…but is that really true? Yes, we value materialism. Yes, we value money. Yes, we value fame and power. But I wonder if teens act in the same way regardless of their family history and regardless of what part of the world they live in. Or is the “typical teen” as we know it purely a product of American consumerism?

The Fabric Store Experience

08.26.2010

While at the fabric store yesterday, I watched a mother with her daughter (of about 8 or 9) get fabric cut for them for what looked like a costume. I can’t imagine it’d be for Halloween already but, hell, Christmas decorations have been out in some stores since last month, so why not?

As I observed the mother gently and playfully speak with her daughter about making the costume, it made me, for that moment in time, want to have a daughter too. There’s no way I’d be able to make a costume for her like my mom used to make for us or like what that mother was describing, but I can pretend.

It wasn’t that that she made parenting out to look like it was just good times. But her daughter was old enough with whom she could have a conversation and make plans, and do things together. And I wanted that kind of a moment too. But such moments come with a large trade-off and it’s that particular trade-off that complicates things for me.