01.23.2011
I’ve always thought there was a double standard in the treatment of sons and daughters. Sons are allowed to go out with friends at an earlier age, dads don’t have a problem with their sons dating (at any age) but don’t want to let their daughters out of the house until they’re over 30, or sons get away with bad behavior because, well, shrug-of-the-shoulders, “they’re just being boys.”
I don’t think only dads get caught in this mentality either. I think moms might be bigger culprits because their sons are their “little boys” who can do no wrong (even at age 55). Relationships with daughters tend to be a different story. I think mothers hold more over their daughters and hold them more accountable. I’m, obviously, speaking in generalities. I once knew a mother who not only was harder on her son who happened to be the 2nd born, a position in the family that lends itself to being able to get away with more, but this mom would often take the side of her daughter if a fight broke out – even if she saw the daughter instigate it. But the reason I remember this is because in all my years of working with kids and parents and studying a little bit of psychology, I found this to be unusual.
Recently, Parenthood (a favorite show of mine, in case you didn’t pick up on that) created a storyline that a 16-year old daughter started dating a 19-year old recovering alcoholic, and the parents prohibited her from seeing him. This, of course, created tension and the daughter rebelled. The parents argued that their daughter was too young to deal with such adult problems that the guy brought to the table.
As much as I agree with the parents, I have to wonder if the genders were reversed, would there be such opposition. For example, when talking about teachers with a group of guy friends, they all agree that it’s “awesome” when a teenager “hooks up” with a female teacher especially if they consider her to be hot. But it’s definitely “pedophilia” if an older, male teacher “has sex” with a student. To me, both are wrong, but that’s the double standard I’m talking about.
Why do we coddle girls? Why do we feel we have to protect them more than we do boys?
For anyone with a daughter, would you let her date an older person? And would you apply the same rule(s) to a son?
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