Tea Kettle Foreshadow?

01.05.2011

The other day, I did something that, of late, I’m getting really good at. And I’m not proud of this special skill I’ve developed.

About six months ago, I started forgetting pots and pans on the stove while they’re cooking. It started out with a couple of “oops” and slight burns to a pot but I soon graduated to burning a pot so severely that the bottom of a stainless steel pot came off. Yes, the entire, ½ inch bottom layer of the pot came off as if I took a meat slicer and sliced the puppy right off.

This concerned me, to say the least, and I’ve been making an effort to use our kitchen timer and focus on one to two things at a time when in the kitchen.

Well, the other day, I decided to heat up some water for tea and, while waiting for the kettle to start whistling, I thought I’d get ready for a shower. I figured that I’d get my tea ready and while I showered it’d cool down for me to drink. I put the kettle on and 15 minutes later, in the middle of my shower, I realized I left the kettle on. I launched myself out of the shower, threw open the bathroom door to find our cats meowing at the door (something they never do) and dripped my way to the kitchen to take off the shrieking kettle. I thanked God that I, at least, filled the teapot with more than enough water so there was no danger of burning (off) anything.

But…

…I couldn’t help shake off this feeling of dread. What’s going on with me? I asked myself. I got back into the shower and was reminded of an article I read in Parenting Magazine last spring about parents who accidentally leave a child in the car and he/she dies. I started the article with judgment and “How could you?”-type questions but when I finished it, I thought about how quick I was to judge. I leave stuff on the stove all the time and forget about it. I’ve driven to places, spaced out, and couldn’t tell you how I got there. Life happens and when routines get altered at the last minute anything can happen.

Nonetheless, this terrifies me. Who’s to say I couldn’t be one of those parents who leave their child in the car? I often space out and I’m always thinking of, at least, 50 things at once. I plan my life days in advance, I use post-it notes and calendars, I go over my routines in my mind…but that might not be enough. I can barely live with the “almosts” I experience now, I can’t imagine having to live with the death of my child knowing that I caused it.