Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Sunday, November 7, 2010

It Still Creeps In

11.07.2010

Today, I have nothing interesting to say. I was at home for the entire day working on a creative project that entailed me to turn our living room and kitchen upside down. I must say that I have the world’s most understanding husband. As he left this morning, I apologized for the mess and he replied lovingly, “That’s OK. Such is my bohemian life.” This made me love him all the more because, as I state in my “About Me” profile, there is never a dull moment with me, with the next whirlwind adventure always hovering around the corner.

But, to all this to kids… I’m exhausted. I’ve had about 8 hours of sleep since Friday and the entirety of what was last week kept me scrambling to catch up with time, which I failed to do. I have a number of projects going on at the same time and, though I’m not complaining, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be able to be half as busy with the kinds of things I love to do were we to have a kid. Everything is a give and take, yes, sure, and I know I’ve explored that. But I’m so scared that a child will take away opportunities for me to do the kinds of projects like what I did today. It’s that fear creeping in all over again…

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Day's Reflection

10.29.2010

Today was one of those days where I wasn't home much and now, just getting in with it way passed my bedtime, I’m too zonked to put together a thoughtful entry for today.

But quickly, one of my errands today consisted of taking both our cats to the vet for check-ups and to look into one of the cat’s inflamed lip. This cat has had major health issues over the past 2½ years and I’ve been dreading taking him for fear of finding out that something else is horribly wrong. And I’ve been on such an emotional roller coaster with him in this past year that I had trouble accepting that the ride might not be over.

All the way to the vet’s my stomach was in knots as I played out different scenarios of what the doctor could come to me with and each time the scenario ended with the only choice being having to put him down. This is probably because that was a very real possibility earlier this year.

Thankfully, both cats are healthy for the most part with a few things to watch out for and others to take care of soon. Then at some point the thought crossed my mind, if my worry about our animals got so high that it kicked in my anxiety and I couldn’t eat, what is it going to be like if I have a kid? Hmmm…now that I think about it, if I’m worried about a kid all the time, maybe I’d finally lose those 22 pounds that I can’t seem to shed. Silver lining, people, silver lining. The cynic needs some sort of a silver lining on occasion.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Mother's Affection Decreases Anxiety?

07.27.2010

Here’s an article that I came across yesterday.[1] Very interesting and…uh…duh! Enjoy!

Can a Mother's Affection Prevent Anxiety in Adulthood? / By Amanda Gardner, Health.com July 26, 2010

Babies whose mothers are attentive and caring tend to grow into happy, well-adjusted children. But the psychological benefits of having a doting mother may extend well beyond childhood, a new study suggests.

According to the study, which followed nearly 500 infants into their 30s, babies who receive above-average levels of affection and attention from their mothers are less likely than other babies to grow up to be emotionally distressed, anxious, or hostile adults.

What's more, the link between the emotional health of adults and their mothers' affection was evident even though the mothers and babies were observed for a single day, when the babies were just 8 months old.

"Even a simple assessment of the quality of the mother-infant interaction at such an early age captures something very important in terms of the future psychological health of that infant," says Joanna Maselko, Ph.D., the lead author of the study and an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical School, in Durham, North Carolina.

The findings, which appear in the "Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health," make a strong case for policies that would help foster positive interactions between infants and parents, such as paid parental leave, Maselko says.

The study also suggests that health insurance should cover services -- such as infant-massage classes -- that have been shown to strengthen the child-caregiver relationship, says Robin Gurwitch, Ph.D., a professor of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Cincinnati Children's Hospital.

"Early experience can be a mediating factor on what happens to us as adults, and we need to look at things that we can do to improve parent-child bonding that can then perhaps serve as a protective factor later," Gurwitch says.

The study included 482 babies born in Providence in the early 1960s. Along with their mothers, the babies were part of a larger, nationwide study on pregnancy and infancy.

When the babies were eight months old, psychologists observed the mothers' interactions with them as the babies took a series of development tests. The psychologists rated the mother's affection and attention level on a five-point scale ranging from "negative" to "extravagant." The vast majority of the interactions (85 percent) were considered "warm," or normal.

Roughly 30 years later, the babies-turned-adults were interviewed about their levels of emotional distress. The adults whose mothers had displayed "extravagant" or "caressing" affection (the two top ratings) were much less likely than their less-doted-on peers to be anxious. They were also less likely to report hostility, distressing social interactions, and psychosomatic symptoms.

The findings add to a large body of psychological research on mother-child attachment that suggests that healthy bonds between young children and parents are crucial to a child's emotional development.

Maselko and her colleagues suspect that their findings may be explained in part by the hormone oxytocin, which acts as a brain chemical. Also known as the "bonding hormone" or "cuddle hormone," oxytocin is released during breastfeeding and other moments of closeness.

"Oxytocin adds [to] the perception of trust and support, and hence is very helpful in building social bonds," Maselko explains. "It's plausible that close parent-child bonds help support the neural development of the areas of the brain that make and use oxytocin, setting up the child for more effective social interactions and mental health in the future."

For now that's just a theory, however. As the authors note, other factors -- including genetics, a mother's stress levels, or even factors that have nothing to do with the mother -- could explain the findings.

A smaller proportion of mothers with lower socioeconomic status exhibited "extravagant" or "caressing" affection than did better-off mothers, for instance. Although the researchers controlled for socioeconomic status and other characteristics, it's possible that social and financial difficulties during childhood could play a role in adult emotional distress.

Charles Bauer, M.D., a professor of pediatrics, ob-gyn, and psychology at the University of Miami's Miller School of Medicine, says that conclusions about the role of maternal affection on a person's future mental health based on a single day of observation at eight months old are bound to be inexact.

"There are so many intervening variables between eight months and 34 years," Bauer says. "A whole cadre of factors might lead to a more stable environment, a more stable mental health picture, a more stable individual."

Copyright Health Magazine 2010

Friday, April 30, 2010

An Individual, A Couple and Then a Family

04.30.2010

I’ve resolved in my head to stop somehow convincing myself that because I may not necessarily agree with a parent’s decision that I’m going to do exactly that too. There’s this weird psychology I conduct on myself. I see a or hear about a parent making a choice I don’t agree with, I get all worked up cause I play out the repercussions in my head and how unfair they are to the child, and I, in turn, tell myself, “See, here’s one more reason not to have a child cause you’re going to make wrong decisions just like this parent and it’s going to screw it all up for them.”

I don’t want to think like that anymore. Despite me not agreeing with a parent, the fact of the matter is A) they are doing the best that they can at that moment with the knowledge that they have and B) Lord knows there's gonna be a parent or two or three that’s going to disagree with my decisions. So, let that go.

But what I will focus on are those parents that I feel are doing it right. One of the things that scares me immensely is how much my relationship with Rob will change. I’ve seen first hand, several times, in fact, what a child does to a couple and how a disconnect begins and how the woman becomes so child-obsessed that she literally starts to ignore her husband forgetting that she is a half of a unit. I don’t want this to happen and after a lunch Rob had with a divorce attorney friend who confirmed that most divorces happen not because of money but because the woman forgets about her husband, this is much more a reality than I think our society cares to admit.

So I look to those who frequently take the time to be together without their children to remind each other that they are individuals first, a couple second, and a family third. And, even though I’ve doled out numbers, it might seem that I’m separating each but, in fact, I believe all three work together simultaneously; however, each element is part of the whole and deserves as much attention as possible. Without a balance within each element, a darkness will start to grow equivalent to what I call a cancer. I desperately want balance in my life and I want to focus on those individuals that I feel seek that balance in their lives too. Thank you to those couples that believe that as much as I do. You’re an inspiration to me and you are proof that it is possible to still have a life and children too.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Rice Krispy Commercial

03.22.2010

I was watching TV this afternoon while taking a break from an asinine project due in one of my classes and a commercial came on for rice krispies. It was the one where the mother and her two daughters make rice krispy balls, dip them in chocolate, and then dip them into different kinds of sprinkles. I always recoil at all the artificial foods in front of them but that will be a discussion for another day.

The commercial has its intended effect on me with the faded image of the 3 of them and an almost “long ago feel” as soft music plays and the mother playfully talks with her girls. It’s all about developing memories with your children and, of course, rice krispy cereal is the perfect caveat to make that happen. It tugs at your heart because you sit there and reminisce about all those times you baked with your own mother. Though, I never really baked with my mother, I certainly have similar memories that the commercial brings to the surface.

I’ve seen this particular commercial several times but this time I looked at it focusing on the mother who is, most likely, a stay-at-home mom and is taking the time to cook with her girls. Part of me became so jealous because I wish that that’s all I wanted out of life. I wished that I wished for simplicity. I’ve lived my entire life with such complexity and often make my life more difficulty than it has to be and this particular habit doesn’t always work in my favor. I wish that I could learn to live my life a little more plain, a little more…less. I think part of is because I just don’t know how to relax; I never did and so this is a constant battle. And I worry that a child will make me even more anxious. I’ve heard that parents find themselves wanting to be the best individuals they can be when they bring a child into their world and I’m freaking out that I’m already not the best while giving it my all now. I can only see this pressure I put on myself increasing. How do parents (especially women) deal with the pressures of trying to be perfect and managing the simplicity of living in the moment versus constantly focusing on the possibilities of tomorrow or lack thereof?