Living For...Now? What's That Like?

03.25.2010

I’ve been so crazed trying to get my project done for tomorrow that I can’t imagine what it would be like if I had a child around. Well, of course I can’t imagine it because imagining is so different from reality. But I wonder about the pressures of “getting it all done”. I don’t know how my mom (or any single-parents, for that matter) did it. And, my mom was a teacher too which, I think, is just as demanding as being a parent. I don’t have any kids right now and, from the moment I wake up to the moment I crawl into bed at night, I have trouble figuring out where the day went. One of the problems is the program that I’m in. I spend my days putting together homework assignments and, because creativity is incredibly time-consuming, everything else in my life gets thrown to the wayside. And I hate that. My plants need watering (I’ve been praying for rain, but, alas, the rain gods aren’t heeding my call), I haven’t been exercising, and I haven’t been going to the supermarket to properly stock our house so we’ve been eating out a lot. And I hate that.

I’ve spent a lot of time blogging about how parents lose themselves in their children’s lives and/or don’t take time out for themselves and how much I find that to be disturbing. But, to counter-argue with myself, I wonder how differently I live my life now? I’m very involved in just surviving school and being able to keep up with the bare minimum needed to run a household (getting food supplies as needed, feeding cats and giving medicine when needed, actually squeezing in a few minutes to talk to Rob and/or my sister during the day, etc.). I think I have to check myself a little bit in that though it may be easy for me to criticize someone for not taking time out for herself (or himself) or taking the time to spend with friends and/or family, I don’t necessarily do that myself now (without kids). It’s important to take a look inward because it may no be completely about the fact that someone has a kid that makes his/her schedule tight, it’s just the way life’s chips falls into place. It’s impossible to have time for absolutely everyone and everything every day.