03.09.2010
Why don’t people understand that actions have consequences?! Let’s talk about people who shouldn’t be having kids (until they are better equipped to do so). There are two categories. There are those who shouldn’t be having kids because the families become a burden on the State. For example, a woman keeps having children to accrue more welfare who then digs herself deeper and deeper into a hole all the while the children are learning to repeat this cycle. (I propose starting by changing the damn system. That should solve a huge chunk of women having kids in order to collect checks. Children aren't items at Vons or Ralph's.)
The other category falls under the religious umbrella and this is the category I want to focus on today. I’m so tired of religion, mainly Christianity, not talking to its constituents about the seriousness of having a child. And I pick on Christianity because I was raised Roman Catholic. There’s this stupid, romantic notion that Christians have that as long as you believe in God all your problems will be solved (here’s that “magic pill” again!). And before I get attacked, yes, I do believe in God, though I don’t necessarily believe in the cookie cutter version of God that Catholics teach. But this belief that all you need is God to get through the day isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes you need the right talent, sometimes you need the right people in your life, or sometimes you need a paycheck to get through the day. My belief in God or saying a prayer may help give me strength to deal with the issue but the prayer itself isn’t going to solve the problem. You need to work at solving the problem.
Just like having and raising children takes work. The LA Times had an article yesterday about a Christian pastor heeding God’s call to bring a truck to places like Watts and offering women, particularly teens, free ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, and other things.[1] Throughout the article I thought, “Ok, good for these people. But I’m sure it’s coming…”
What’s the “it’s” I was referring to? Keep reading.
A teen told one of the counselors that she was going to keep her baby after getting confirmation that she was pregnant. Having already had one abortion because her boyfriend was in jail at the time and she was worried she wouldn’t be able to support a baby (!!), she decided that it was only right to keep this second child. The counselor responds, “I’m so happy you’re making this decision…Now do you have faith?”
[“THERE IT IS!” I yelled in my head.]
“I don’t really know what I am,” the girl responds. “But I have accepted God in my heart.”
“Good,” the counselor says. “Briana, that’s going to really help. Because life can be really hard, but God will be there for you, and Briana, I believe God has a plan and a purpose not only for you but for your baby too.”
[“BINGO!” I yelled.] Now, to dissect the hell out of this.
First, Briana is pregnant. AGAIN. Why are we advocating this? How is it that teaching about contraceptives is supposedly promoting sex but once they’re pregnant – MORE THAN ONCE – religion ignores the issue of premarital sex completely? Don’t we want to make sure that these teenaged girls DON’T get put in the position they find themselves in? Why are we advocating a more difficult life for these young girls instead of just teaching and talking about prevention?
Second, if someone like Briana is seeking out help with her pregnancy, what the hell does it matter if she has faith? Would she get turned away because she might not? I bet she would. These people who “heed God’s call” do so only under the condition that you believe in (their) God as well. And if you don’t, then, either “good riddance” or they force their religion down your throat. This always makes me laugh riotously because, oh, I don’t know. Didn’t Jesus help anyone and everyone regardless of whether they believed in him or not? Cause last I checked the sentiment “help they neighbor” it didn’t apply to just those who believed in a Christian God.
Third, the quote “life can be really hard but God will be there for you”….well, yeah, OK, but life is hard for anyone whether you believe in God or not.. We all need to get through the day somehow. Some people pray, some people meditate, some people throw a fist to the wall. Whatever.
And now to my favorite quote from the article. “I believe God has a plan and a purpose not only for you but for your baby too.” Really? Cause I was taught from an early age that God has a plan and a purpose for ALL of us whether we decided to have and raise a child or not. This is the kind of bullshit that religion feeds to people. I mean, when you’re a destitute teenager, how do you argue with an adult when he/she tells you that “God has a plan for you”? Hell, when you’re a destitute anyone, how do you argue with something like that? It makes you feel important and special and makes you feel validated in the decision(s) you made. But let’s get back to my very first point.
THE TEENAGER IS PREGNANT. We’re really validating this girl’s decision to get pregnant because God has a plan for her and her baby? We need to stop using God to justify every decision we make.
I’m sure there’s someone yelling back at me “What’s the alternative? Abortion?” Well, no, that’s necessarily what I’m saying. I mean, in full disclosure, I am pro-choice, but more than anything, I am pro-education. We need to stop putting societal blinders on and accept that there are people having pre-marital sex. You can teach about the dangers of sex, pregnancy, STDs and abstinence all together with the understanding that people are going to ultimately make their own decision. But when a person knows even just a little of what the consequences are, it will give him/her pause. But believing in God isn’t going to pay the bills. Having an education will. But if you’re a teen the chances of you completing college with a child fall to a very low percentage. Why would religion advocate a life for both mother and child that will most likely result in poverty? How is this beneficial for society as a whole?
Having faith is important; I won’t discount that. But we can’t use it as the sole excuse to help someone in need. We have so many families with 6, 7, 8 plus children because “it’s what God wants”. No! IT’S NOT! I saw God in a vision and He told me that that’s not what He wants. He wants us to care for those who already walk the Earth, He wants us to love unconditionally, and He wants us to help those in need without proselytizing. Having children isn’t a factory job where a woman cranks out babies while clocked in. We should be providing an environment where a child can learn and discover his/her world comfortably and where parents and/or supervising adults can provide the best childcare possible. I think it’s important to raise your children with whatever your beliefs are. Please, don’t get me wrong. But having this faith shouldn’t determine who we help and how, or deter one from knowing certain consequences. Having sex can lead to getting pregnant. It doesn’t happen randomly like some sort of an illness. It’s a very specific act with a very specific outcome. But when it’s kept hidden or when the issue(s) are swept under the rug, problems for everyone arise. And girls often find themselves in a cycle of having more and more children that they are unable to properly take care of. When you have a brood of children under one house, how is that a healthy environment for anyone?
[1] Los Angeles Times, “A Drive to Reduce Abortions”, Monday, March 8, 2010, AA4.
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