Communicate It, Baby

05.12.2010

During my class tonight, a friend and I talked about how we both caught that the instructor was very frustrated with us; in fact, quite irritated. I told my friend that, having been a teacher, I feel I can recognize his frustrations and the reasons for them. I suspect that he is not a seasoned instructor and there are definite holes in how he teaches and these holes came up to the surface as we were talking about next week’s final. No one was really asking questions about the final and there were many quiet moments where we were all staring at each other – and those moments are always painful for me cause I’ve been there. But, as an instructor, when you get frustrated with students it could be one of two reasons:

1) A student or two is not listening to what you’re saying and keeps repeating the same question even well after you’ve answered it. (This is not your fault.)

2) You have not gone over the material in a sufficient manner and most of your students are confused and, as a result, don’t know how to communicate that to you because they have no idea how to even formulate the right questions to ask. (This is your fault.)

I have experienced both scenarios and this is why it’s so important to know how to read the blank stares on your students’ faces. It’s also important to be humble enough to admit when you’ve done a crappy job at teaching something.

Ok, so how does this all relate to children? On may long ride home from class, I started thinking about how parenting is really one, life-long teaching job. I never saw myself as a “teacher” when I worked as an educator full-time. I always liked to think of myself as a “guide” – I believe we have the answers within us; we just need the right guide to help us find them. That’s how I approached teaching and I always saw my students as my guide. I anticipate that I’ll approach parenting in the same manner and how what happened in the classroom tonight really underscores how important communication is in every aspect of our lives. It also underscores how so many of us can suck at it, including me, and it is sort of interesting how we hear how important it is and, yet, it’s one of the most difficult things to do.