04.04.2010
Happy Easter!
Talked to my mom and grandmother on Skype this morning when my sister came over. The last time all 4 of us talked at the same time was X-mas 2008. My grandmother looks amazing and it’s hard to believe she’s going to be 91 in 2 weeks. I’m lucky to have such genes. But seeing them over the computer screen just makes me sad. I mean, I’m glad for Skype, but it’s still a cheap substitute to having the person be in the room with you.
What’s adding to my sadness is that my sister has decided to move out of the country and we’re all going to be separated. Again. I think this way especially because of the notion that Rob and I may be starting a family in the next year. During pregnancy, whenever that may be, I’ll really be on my own and that saddens me. The trip to and from Lithuania is incredibly expensive and is a very long trip, up to 2 days, and my mom has all these animals that she can’t leave behind. So, even without my sister leaving for a year, I already know that during pregnancy and, at least, the 1st year of the child’s life or until I can get myself and the child over to Lithuania, my mom won’t be around. Planning for a child and the whole pregnancy thing should be times that are joyous and I don’t know how something that already terrifies me isn’t going to completely destroy me without family around. Of course, I don’t want to discount Rob and his family and I know they’ll be there and help with whatever is needed. But, I think, at least, women will understand when I say that sometimes you just want your mom and/or your sister. There's this bond that, if you're lucky enough, you create with your mom and your sister/sibling (if you have one) that's difficult to duplicate. I think any woman can understand that. This bond somehow is transferred to groups of girlfriends or even just one other girlfriend. It's important and necessary and without it, life is empty.
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