You Are Not Your Child's "Friend"

04.24.2010

Sometimes I get a little tired of all the parents who are trying to be their children’s friends. We all want to be liked and we all convince ourselves throughout our lives that once we’re gonna be parents we’re gonna be the “cool” parents and that our kids won’t be embarrassed by us like we were by our parents.

Well, that ain’t ever going to happen. Kids are going to be embarrassed by their parents no matter what. So I think it’s better to acknowledge that you’re a parent and that you’re the adult so it’s your job to set the rules, the boundaries, and, in order to instill these rules and boundaries, you’re gonna have to be the “bad cop” sometimes.

As a full-time teacher and then 7 years of teaching at Lithuanian school, I have seen too many parents care more about pleasing their child in the world of extra curricular activities than in education. Why can’t there be a balance and rules and consequences set up?

There are plenty of kids whose grades are falling to the wayside and yet there is absolutely no price to pay for that. Kids still get to go to b-day parties, field trips, or other such extra activities that, when I was growing up, were reserved as extras once certain responsibilities were taken care of. It’s kind of like doling out trophies to everyone who participated in a sports event because it’s politically correct. We don’t want to “offend” any child and make them “feel badly” about themselves. Give me a break! If a child doesn’t learn priorities and that certain things are rewards for working hard then how is that child going to become a productive and responsible adult?

Grades aren’t everything, I certainly know that. And Lord knows that I was such a poor student that I nearly failed 3^rd grade, 5^th grade and 6^th grade. And high school was a challenge too. But poor grades weren’t rewarded and I certainly wasn’t allowed to do everything under the sun. I see too many children learning that a heavy social calendar is more important than an education and, in an educational system that is already failing, parental attitude is certainly not helping the situation.