Withering Away

10.03.2010

I’m a firm believer that if you want to see someone’s true colors observe him/her when he/she doesn’t realize that he/she is being watched. You can see a lot about that person such as whether or not he/she is truly happy, whether he/she is worried about something, or if the person wishes that his/her life turned out somewhat differently. I don’t often get a chance to catch someone I know in this kind of a light but whenever I do I pay close attention to see if I can figure out the essence of him/her.

Recently, I had this chance. I have seen this person over the past 15 years slowly wither away. He was once very handsome with a great personality but as time went on and his kids grew older, his relationship with his wife deteriorated and you could see that his body physically began to change with his shoulders hunched forward as if a heavy burden was pulling him down. I know that currently and for the most part he’s on speaking terms with his wife, but in that fleeting moment that I saw him walking, I could sense such deep sadness surrounding him.

I know that he never wanted to live the way he lives now but his wife would have nothing different. I know that he’d want a bigger living space for his family but they’re out-priced in the area that they live in and she refuses to move, so they live 4 people in a two-bedroom space. The wife’s unwillingness to compromise on many issues has worn this man down. You could see that he gave up a long time ago and now is an empty shell going through the motions.

This greatly saddens me and it is one of the very things that scares me about having kids. Rob and I have a great relationship but even the best kind can get worn down especially if there’s a communication breakdown. I think about this guy’s kids and how both of them are growing up without a father. Yes, he may physically be there but he’s vacant emotionally and spiritually. I know what that does to a girl from personal experience and I can only imagine what that can do to a son. These examples that he sets for his kids will be repeated in future relationships that his kids have and it’s unfair. I just wish people were more honest with themselves.