Future Judgement

08.17.2010

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how unfair our world is, which is, I know, not breaking news. But the thing that goes over in my mind like a broken record is how unfairly women get treated and judged. There are men who look at women as objects. There are men who look at women as weaklings. There are men who have no respect for their talents and strengths.

This led me to think about the future. My future. If we had a child, what would I say to her about encountering men who dismiss her just because she’s female? Or, if the child’s a boy, what would I tell him about accepting women as individuals just like we accept him?

With these questions in mind, I sat down and wrote two letters.

Dear Daughter,

In this world, you will experience a lot of magic, mystery, and play as well as pain, suffering, and judgment. I won’t always be there when you experience these and I won’t always have the answers. But I hope for one thing: that by the time you’re my age, you will easily shrug off any feelings of inadequacy that a man may try to make you feel. You might feel weak at times and you might have moments when their words will seem to be truer than what’s in your heart. But remember what Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” These men, and anyone else who tries to keep you down, will do everything in their power to make sure you’re kept down. Use the wings of your imagination and don’t be afraid because believing in yourself is the greatest weapon a person can ever behold.

To My Son,

I wish for you to know your strengths and capabilities so that you can achieve whatever your imagination conjures up and whatever your heart desires.

I also hope that you understand compassion, love, and acceptance. I hope that when you look at a woman you see a person and accept her inner beauty, her unconditional love, and…her flaws. I hope that when a man belittles a woman you will stand up for her even if it means you’re the only one who’s standing. I hope you see that this strategy of judgment that so many men use in order to feel empowered actually makes them weak. I hope you know that you are better than that.

These convictions will be appreciated and even sought after. Believing in the right thing makes your heart feel full and this is the second greatest weapon a person can ever behold. The first is believing in yourself.