Sunday, September 5, 2010

The Mind Thinks, The Heart Feels

09.05.2010

In the Los Angeles Times Magazine today, I read an interview with Milla Jovovich. This woman interests me for a strange reason and, when I disclose it, you will think me insane. Yes. You will. I used to have a major crush on actor Balthazar Getty and, as teens, they used to date, and…I hated her for that. I mean, she took away the guy who would fall in love with me the moment he saw me as soon as I were to find an opportunity to present myself to him. Now, 20 years later, she interests me because, in my head, we have history. (I told you you’d think me insane.)

Anyway, there’s something she said in the interview that resonated with me.

The question: VH1 has dubbed you the Reigning Queen of Kick-Butt. Does that help or hinder in getting dramatic roles like the one in Stone?

Her answer: You know, at this point in my career, I can’t imagine anything could hinder me, aside from myself. Having a baby really kind of changed my whole outlook. Before, it was more me being too into my head – too self-centered or insecure about this and that. Now, if my baby is not sick, if she sleeps okay, is eating well…that’s all any mom can ask for. With that kind of new outlook, people can’t help but feel that from you and look at you differently. Now I love to go on auditions.

I know it may seem weird that I identify with her without having a kid myself but there’s a part of me that understands “being too into my head – too self-centered or insecure.” I don’t have kids so I live in my own head for however much I want. I can be self-centered and I’m definitely insecure. I don’t think these necessarily go away completely once you have kids. But I think perspective on them changes because it’s no longer all about you.

I also relate on the level that once you have an attitude adjustment about something, the world takes notice. I’ve had a major attitude adjustment in my life since the beginning of summer and, having come to certain conclusions, I noticed the positive response from the world around me. This change in my life has proven what an important lesson it is to listen to your heart because the answers to all our questions, frustrations, and worries are there. We may not like what we hear but that’s when we should especially listen. Our mind may think it knows best but sometimes we need to give the controls over to the heart however insane that may make us look. Trust me. I know a thing or two about that.

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