09.19.2010
Sometimes we find ourselves stressed and annoyed at the littlest things and it’s never until we’re faced with a reminder of the preciousness of life that we may think back to those moments of stress and annoyance and think, “May I have many more of those.” Yesterday, I experienced such a moment.
I was out with my sister running errands one of which was to the thrift store Out of the Closet. While she shopped, my back started to ache so I found a place to sit. This location offered free HIV testing and the only place for me to sit was in the waiting room. I took one of the two chairs and grabbed a magazine.
A guy in his late 20s or early 30s sat down next to me. We had actually both been looking for a bathroom earlier and were directed to the nearby Rite Aid. So, as bathroom buddies, he must’ve felt like we already crossed some sort of milestone because he immediately opened up. He asked if I was there for an HIV test and when I shook my head, he nervously told me that he was and was now waiting for the results.
He told me about a partner who told him he was HIV negative but then admitted he lied. He said that he started to notice changes in his body and it scared him into coming in to take the test. Shakily he pondered, “Is my life about to change forever?”
I felt helpless. For some reason our paths crossed and I, for one second, hated that they did. I’m horrible at coming up with words of wisdom on the spot or offering up some…what? What do you say to someone in that moment? “I hope it’s a negative result” just seems too much of a “well, duh” thing to say. So I decided to just listen because perhaps he just needed to know that someone was listening.
He was then called and my sister, by now, was done shopping. I told her what just happened and that I wanted to cry because I could feel his fear and I wanted him to be OK. While we were at the register, I kept looking to see if he’d left yet and I seriously considered waiting so that I would know the results too.
As we turned to leave, I saw him walk out with a big grin on his face. He was negative. I gave him a hug and he thanked me several times. In this moment, I had a connection with a complete stranger. It didn’t matter who he was, what his sexual orientation was, or where he came from. For a few minutes, we were two humans who stood together at a threshold where one person’s path could’ve gone one way or another. He needed a friend and a phantom hand to hold and I happened to be there at the right time, and for that I am truly grateful.
I also thought about all the people who bear so much hatred for gays and disregard their emotions, their needs and struggles, and teach this intolerance to their children. The compassion I had for this person, I feel, helped him and didn’t make him feel alone because, after all, isn’t that what we all strive for in the end? To not feel alone? It made me thankful to be who I am and should we ever have children, I feel that both Rob and I will be able to parlay that compassion, understanding and love. My hope is that they inspire others to do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment