Baby Shower Etiquette

11.27.2010

I heard from a friend some time ago that women don’t have baby showers after their first child. Shocked, I asked, “Why?” because this doesn’t make any sense to me. She explained that it’s not proper etiquette since one shower should be enough.

I remember when the little boy was born for the family for whom I babysat while in college, the mom said she wished that she had a shower because their first kid was a girl and they had all this stuff that was incompatible. I suppose it is for this reason why it’s safest to collect unisex clothes unless you’re sure you’re only going to have one child. But limiting it to just one shower seems unfair.

Rob and I discussed this issue today because I wanted to get his opinion on the matter (since men care so much, right?). He said he thought that it was mostly about the woman. Here’s a summary of what he said:

When a girl reaches the age of 16, she gets a Sweet 16 party. (I didn’t.) And that’s a party to recognize her leaving one stage of her life and entering the next. Then, when she’s engaged, she gets a bridal shower to welcome her into the next stage, which is then eventually followed by a baby shower. When a woman has a second child, she’s already had the ritual of being “showered” into that phase of her life; therefore, there’s no need for another one.

That makes sense and I can see that. I googled whether or not one could have more than one shower and it seems like many comments out there are asking, “Why not?” Hell, that’s what I ask. While one may not necessarily register for the big ticket items like strollers, cribs or car seats, I think it’s still important to get new items for the second child. Even if there’s one-year difference, I doubt many parents keep bottles around, newborn clothes or swaddles. I think each child should be celebrated (even if I believe we’re overpopulated).

As I told Rob, if we decide to contribute to the overpopulation of the world by having more than one child, I will most definitely have more than one shower. I follow etiquette on certain things but I won’t be on that.